are you still at the devil's house?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
