I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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