Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
