Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
