You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize