Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
