Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
