I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
