She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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