Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
