I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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