you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
pray to the hookup gods
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
