i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
