that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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