Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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