Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
