Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize