Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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