sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
