yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
