Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
