and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
