I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you made out with another girl for some wings
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
