careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
