You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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