Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
