i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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