Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize