If i come over, it means nothing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
be right there i have to get my cape
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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