Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
