with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize