Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
