your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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