We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
