I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
