is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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