I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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