I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
