shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
