Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
