..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
