i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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