every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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