I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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