so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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