I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
