When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the day after is always just damage control
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
