once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
