The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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