i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
