Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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