so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
