Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
