why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
