I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
