If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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