I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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