I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
