love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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