belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
