why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
