I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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