I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
