I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
