Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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