Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
