I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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